3 People Who Would Have Never Been Published If They Hadn't Already Been Famous
AKA 3 Signs of the Apocalypse
1. Paris Hilton
In 2004, Paris Hilton "wrote" the flavorless pile of drivel known as Confessions of an Heiress: A Tongue-in-Chic Look Behind the Pose. This book eventually became a New York Times best-seller, in case you needed to lose a little more faith in humanity.Notable excerpt: "An heiress should never be too serious. Being too serious is very dull, and is a sign that you have no imagination or personality. No one really wants to hang out with anyone too serious."
That's hot.
2. Kim Kardashian
A lot of terrible things happened in 2015, and one of them was the publication of a book consisting entirely of Kim Kardashian's selfies. This profound anthology was imaginatively titled Selfie and was considered a flop after selling only 32,000 copies in 3 months (as it was expected to fare much, much better). If you were one of the thousands who purchased this book, you are part of the problem.Notable excerpt: "I just wanted a selfie with an elephant. This pic was taken before the elephant scared me."
Ah, the prose...
3. Snooki
Nicole Polizzi, more commonly known as Snooki, rose to shallow fame on the hit MTV reality series Jersey Shore. After countless episodes featuring Snooki drunkenly fighting in bars, sleeping with random men, and puking on sidewalks, she decided to publish her book, A Shore Thing. Because can a person ever really have enough Snooki? Apparently so, because the book was a failure.Notable excerpt: "He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face."
Isn't that what every girl wants?!
I think this is probably one of my favorite posts; although I would never buy any of these books, it's slightly amazing how the techniques of these women have made them so much money. I mean Paris Hilton's book sold many copies and for nothing. We can criticize these women all we want for terrible writing, but I think it says more about the people buying them than the women themselves. Also, typically there is a ghost writer for these celebrities, meaning they just approved what was written. And if they aren't a writer, they probably will just agree with whatever is given to them. The selfie book definitely shows how our generation gets distracted by pictures before any words.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this post because I think that it is also a brilliant comment on how women are depicted in today's society. The two marketing strategies used here are the women's sexuality along with their stupidity. How sad is that? These books were used to market women, not teach anyone anything at all. These are not forms of real literature, they are simply money making tools. I think you have pointed out an interesting flaw- and I like the way you did it within a list. Well done.
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